


No Filter

by Kali588



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:49:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5616043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kali588/pseuds/Kali588
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria loses her filter due to a dinner in Asgard...and has to attend a meeting with Nick Fury.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Filter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agentsofpuppies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsofpuppies/gifts).



> Tumblr prompt for agentsofpuppies. Response to the word "drastic." Had fun with this one! Come see me at itsnotokbutwereallright to send your own submissions!

Natasha couldn’t think of the last time that she had seen Tony Stark silent. He always recovered with a one liner and a smirk, but he was staring at Maria and…was his mouth open? Banner had choked on his tea, Steve had his head in his hands, and Clint was smiling the widest she had seen since he’d figured out Tony’s PIN. Thor was attempting to explain to Director Fury.

“The potion is unfortunately without antidote, but should leave her body without any ill effects. She will most likely not have recollection of these events.”

Clint, lightning fast, grabbed his phone and hit the “record” option on his camera. Natasha rolled her eyes at him, but didn’t take the phone. It was pretty humorous. She knew he wanted video to share with Coulson, and he would of course send it to her.

Director Fury glared at Thor and barked, “Your little buddies have put my agent out of commission for the foreseeable future! This is SHIELD, and we are not an agency to be trifled with! Tell me why in the hell I shouldn’t be taking drastic measures against the magical threesome!”

Maria, straight faced, muttered, “Drastic times call for drastic measures? Seriously? Could you be more of a cliche? I just had a couple of drinks. Lay off.” She then looked at Director Fury and stated clearly, “Sir, did you have a mission assignment? I’d be happy to review the parameters with the STRIKE team while you debrief the Avengers.”

Natasha could see Fury’s eye twitch, while Clint was shaking so hard from laughter, she was sure the video would look like a remake of the Blair Witch Project. Cap had recovered to look at Maria and advised, “We need you here, Deputy Director, if you don’t mind.”

Maria, still deadpan, muttered, “Of course I mind, but at least here there’s some eye candy.” She spoke up, “Not a problem, Captain Rogers. If you could continue, Thor.” Under her breath, “Let’s see if I can get BINGO this time.”

Tony perked up at that. He loved games, and special secret Maria Hill thought game was bound to be the best. Thor explained how the “diplomatic mission” by the Avengers to Asgard was seen as a great delight by the Warriors Three, and their intentions were not nefarious (”B” said Maria). It had been so long since they had drunk Vanaheim wine, they forgot the effect it had on humans. Namely, the removal of the barrier between thought and speech. Cap stood up and stared out the window (”I” from Maria) and asked, “How much did she drink?”

“I believe only the toast to the Avengers.”

Tony responded, “Which, by the way, did not feature as much _me_  as it could have, and frankly-”

He was interrupted by Maria’s “N. Wow, this is like super easy today. I wish Coulson were here to play - Team Delta wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

Natasha stood up. “Okay, debrief’s over. Thor, you said a couple of hours?”

“Aye.”

“Maria, let’s go find May and watch the new recruits train. Barton’s teaching today, and I know he would love your input.”

“Aw, Nat, no!”


End file.
